“The circumstances of your life ALWAYS reflect the needs of your soul.
”
During a morning read of Gary Zukav’s “The Heart of the Soul,” the above sentence flashed like a fiery, neon sign, branded my psyche forever. It was a life changing moment. I could feel it in my bones.
At the time, I was in the throes of caring for both parents. Life was a steady stream of visits to the nursing home, rehab, doctors, labs, specialists (ears, lungs, heart, kidneys, skin), out-patient centers, dentists, hospitals, family meetings, phone calls, and errands. This felt like an opportunity to experience another favorite quote:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
And I wanted CHANGE ! So I seriously began to wonder ~
~SOUL ?! Sometimes I just wanted to get through A DAY !
~How did I forget all my tools ?
~Where was I ? The ME, the LIFE, I used to know ?
~What was the purpose of all this ?
~What was I supposed to learn ?
On and on… Curious ! Learning !
As months turned into years, I DID wake up, begin to “SEE,” deeply realize what my soul needed: It needed me to face into my greatest fears and hurts, to come, “sit by its fire,” so I could finally know, heal, love and cherish IT, MYSELF- warts and all. Only then could I truly be of service to others. Only then would I feel fulfilled.
Eldercare Giving: Questions to Get Started
Below are samples of questions I explored and faced during the six years I cared for my parents. My curiosity and lessons continue as I reflect upon that time and as I share and connect with other caregivers.
💙 When do you say “NO ?”
💙 What are your greatest challenges ?
💙 What might you be really scared about ?
💙 When you’re stressed - resisting what is - how do you cope ?
💙 What might you feel really angry about ?
💙 When do you know you’ve had enough ?
💙 What fuels you, fills you up so you can give out ?
💙 How long has it been since you’ve had fun ?
💙 What CAN you control ? What CAN’T you control ?
💙 What might you now appreciate about yourself that you never did before ?
💙 What feelings do you dare not express ?
💙 How has caregiving changed your life ?
💙 What might you feel guilty about ? (guilt=anger+fear)
💙 What might you feel embarrassed about ?
💙 What might you love to let go of ?
💙 What was fun in childhood and could still be fun today ?
💙 What role are you playing out from your family of origin ?
💙 How old do you feel while caregiving ?
💙 What lessons would you share with a “newbie” caregiver ?
💙 What changes - physical, mental, spiritual, energetic, etc. - have you noticed in yourself ?
Other Resources
My FACEBOOK Caregiving Group
I have a closed group on Facebook, called “The Sandbar”, where I will share even more inspirational stories, videos, artwork and more. Request access below and come see what kind of Mudpie Magic is going on today!
memory matters
Optimizing brain wellness through education and memory services.
The Hendricks Institute
For over 40 years, they have assisted people in opening to more creativity, love, and vitality through the power of conscious relationship and whole-person learning.
Foundation for Conscious Living
Almost all problems have fear locked up at the source. When you learn to shift from fear to here, you are available to enjoy aliveness, make nourishing connections, and co-create solutions rather than recycling the same adrenaline-fueled reactions.
Care Right, Inc
Care Right assists families all across the country in navigating the complexities associated with the aging process by managing crisis situations, developing a proactive Aging Plan and providing needed support to struggling caregivers.
